Then There Was You Page 24

  Too late for that.

  He sat there, watching a world of emotions cross her face, half expecting the well-deserved sting of her palm against his face. He waited for her to tell him her stupid throwaway comment was nothing compared to his past mistakes, or worse, to make an argument for him to reconsider. But she wouldn’t beg. That he could already tell from her ramrod straight back and the set of her shoulders.

  Instead she sat there in silence, studied his face for a few agonizing seconds, then let out a small sigh. “I understand.” She stood, her boots digging into the soft ground underneath the bench. Her gaze was direct. “I’m not going to say that I don’t wish it could be different, but I get it. You have a big calling on your life and you need the right girl beside you. And she isn’t me.” She walked a couple of steps, then turned back around, her coat flying around her in the wind.

  “You know what though?”

  “What?”

  “The right girl. The one who is perfect for your life, who loves you and only wants what’s best for you? Who is always watching out for you? She’s been here this whole time.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Kellie, Josh. It’s Kellie.” She gave him the kind of wistful smile that wrenched his heart in two. “Bye, Josh.” This time when she walked away, she never looked back.

  He ground his heels in the mud to stop himself from leaping up and running after her, telling her he was wrong, that she was the right girl, the only girl, he wanted beside him.

  He’d made the right decision. Done the right thing. His calling required sacrifices. This was just one of them.

  Paige should have known she’d lose him the minute she’d told him about the investigation.

  After all, this was the man who had fifty pages of rules just to be a member of his band. Sure enough, she’d seen the shutters go over his eyes, then his heart as soon as he realized what she’d done.

  One minute, she was throwing caution to the wind and putting herself out there. Ready to tell him that she had counted down the days while he’d been gone. That she was willing to be all in even though it scared her. The next, it was all in pieces. The damp grass sank beneath her feet as she trudged back to the office.

  He was right, though. That was what hurt the most. They’d both been fooling themselves, trying to imagine a place for each other that just wasn’t meant to be. Wasn’t possible. The songs were wrong. Love didn’t conquer all. Not that what they’d had could even be defined as love.

  She didn’t belong here, in this country where they drove on the wrong side of the road and spelled things weird and made up fake bears to mess with people. She’d been so busy trying to jam herself somewhere she didn’t fit, she couldn’t recognize the obvious.

  She’d gone and done it all again. She’d wasted almost seven years on Alex and then what? Josh showed up with his sexy Australian drawl and brooding gaze and zings of chemistry and the ability to make her feel like the only girl in the world. And she went and lost her mind over another guy who was never going to be right.

  What was wrong with her? She was thirty-one years old. Why couldn’t she just go for the guy who was right and stable and a good match, not the ones who set her world on fire, then left her with the ashes?

  What was wrong with him? Why on earth didn’t he just put everyone out of their misery and marry Kellie? They were perfect for each other. Kellie would never bring the tax office down on his family’s head. Never need a paper bag on an airplane. They’d produce cute musical little VBS-attending children. It’d be like the modern Christian Von Trapp family.

  “Argh!” She directed her frustration toward the now-gray rolling clouds in the sky. A drop of rain hit her square in the eye. Perfect. Even the world was spitting in her face.

  She needed to pull herself together. She’d be unemployed in a matter of weeks, a reality she’d been denying as she was consumed with trying to imagine whether she could embrace the life Josh had. Now she needed to start sending her resume out. She’d been blown off course but she’d taken this job for one reason—to give her the experience she needed to go home and land one of her dream jobs.

  It was time to get her life back on track.

  Thirty-Four

  “Excuse me?”

  Josh looked up to find someone waiting just inside the front doors of the main building. A vaguely familiar guy approached, holding a bouquet of flowers.

  “Can you tell me how I find the main reception?”

  “Sure. It’s just up here.” He gestured toward the stairs. “I’m heading there myself.”

  “Thanks.”

  Josh turned to him as they headed up the stairs. “What brings you here?”

  “Actually, you might be able to help. I’m looking for Paige McAllister.”

  Big surprise. Not. Josh always managed to be right there whenever flowers were being delivered for Paige. Josh looked the guy full in the face. It was him. Chicago airport guy. Mr. It’s Complicated.

  They reached the landing and Josh willed his feet to continue across the walkway to the office. “Sure, I know Paige. Follow me.” They’d given each other a wide berth in the three weeks since their conversation, but he was about to be in a meeting that included her so there was no point delaying the inevitable.

  He cut through reception, and stuck his head into Paige’s office. She sat with her back to him, typing.

  He tapped against the doorframe.

  It was good this guy was here. Josh and Paige were over. Not that there had even been anything to be over. So why did everything in him want to sag under the weight of disappointment?

  She spun around, a look of confusion creasing her face when she saw him. “Hey.” She tilted her head, as if trying to decipher the mystery behind his visit.

  “Hey.” He kept his voice cool. “There’s someone here to see you.”

  She stood, her brow wrinkled. “Who?”

  A strong sense of déjà vu overtook him. An almost identical scene had played out like this before over another bunch of flowers. The main difference being this time the sender had crossed the world to deliver them himself.

  Josh turned and beckoned to the guy, who had a sheen across his forehead and was grasping the stems like they might leap out of his hands and make a run for it.

  Josh stepped back from the doorway as Mr. It’s Complicated navigated around him.

  “Um, surprise.”

  Over the guy’s shoulder Josh watched as Paige grabbed the back of her chair, face bleaching to white. “Nate? What are you doing here?”

  Then he turned and walked away.

  Nate was here. Nate was here. Nate was here. Standing in the doorway to her office bearing another enormous bunch of flowers.

  “Come in, come in.” She stepped back and almost fell over her chair.

  He stepped into the room and proffered the flowers with a hesitant smile. “For you.”

  “Thank you.” He looked good. She took the colorful bouquet and placed it down on her desk. Hug. She should give him a hug. She lurched forward, every movement feeling robotic. “It’s good to see you.” He wrapped his arms around her and she breathed in the familiar scent of his sandalwood cologne.

  Nate looked around her office, his gaze taking in everything from the Gantt charts on her walls to the photo of her family on her desk. “I’m sorry to just barge in like this. The—”

  Her computer dinged, interrupting him with a zero-minute meeting reminder popping up. With less than two weeks to go until Grace, the planning meeting was compulsory. “Oh my gosh, I have to go. To a meeting. I’m sorry. I can’t miss it. Have a seat. Stay here. I won’t be long.” She grabbed her papers and bolted down the hall, slipping into her seat as Janine introduced the first item on the agenda.

  Paige’s mind whirled like an out-of-control Ferris wheel as she tried to focus on the meeting.

  “What do you think, Paige?” Josh’s eyes probed hers. “Should we release tickets to the upper tier even though
we know the acoustics aren’t as good? Not to mention the view.”

  It was like a B-grade movie stuck on replay. Hadn’t they had this exact conversation the last time flowers showed up from Nate? Except that time it was about the tour instead of Grace.

  What was Josh thinking right now? She ground her teeth together at the urge to tell him the guy sitting in her office wasn’t her boyfriend, that nothing had changed in that regard since their conversation in Christchurch. Nothing. And everything.

  Josh wasn’t even supposed to be in this meeting. Kellie was the Grace worship liaison. Why wasn’t she at the now-daily whole-of-team meeting Janine convened?

  She forced her thoughts to get in line. “My view is the same as the tour. Only if they’re at a discount and we disclose the quality issue.”

  What was Nate doing here? What did she think he was doing here? Someone didn’t fly halfway around the world and show up with half a florist’s worth of flowers to go out for coffee.

  “Agreed.” Janine leaned back in her chair. “The last thing we want is people feeling ripped off. Now where are we with all the speakers’ itineraries? Everything confirmed?”

  Paige checked her notes. “Everyone except Nicole. Her P.A. emailed today saying she was going to need to switch to a later flight. Her new flight has her landing only a few hours before her first session.” Her stomach clenched. What if there was some sort of delay? What if they ended up with a session about to start and no speaker? No. No panicking. This was what she did. She had contingencies for contingencies.

  “Plan B if something goes wrong and she doesn’t make it in time?”

  “We swap your afternoon session with her late morning one. That will give us an extra four hours. If it’s a longer delay than that, Nicole has said she’s happy to do a prerecord and send it to us for emergency use.”

  “Hmmm.” Janine’s brow furrowed. “It’ll have to do. Let’s pray it doesn’t come to that.” She moved to the next item on the agenda and turned to the styling team lead. “Design all good?”

  Paige tuned out as Carrie outlined a few minor changes they’d had to make to the aesthetics. Two weeks and Grace would be over. Three weeks and her contract would be up. Even if she wanted to stay, her visa didn’t allow her to work for one organization for more than six months.

  She’d already started sending her resume out to recruitment firms back home. Surely with Grace and the tour added to her experience it would only be a matter of time before something came up.

  “Anyone got anything else?” Janine looked around, but the only sound in the room was people shuffling papers and repacking folders. “Great. See you same time tomorrow.”

  Paige looked up from gathering her papers to find Josh gazing at her, his expression inscrutable. Why did she even care what he thought? They’d both agreed they were wrong for each other.

  “Josh, can I grab you for a second?” Janine’s words filled her both with relief and trepidation. She could avoid an awkward moment with Josh, but it also meant she couldn’t delay facing what waited for her down the hall.

  “I’ll see you guys later.” Paige picked up her folder and headed for the door. She should be thrilled that one of her best friends was here. She was. Really. She sucked in a deep breath, trying to stop her insides from rolling around like they were inside a pinball machine.

  Nate looked up from his phone as she stepped into her office. The flowers he’d brought her were arranged in a vase on her desk. “Hope you don’t mind. One of your admin people helped me find one.”

  “No, of course not. They’re gorgeous.” She walked across the room and leaned in to get a whiff of the fresh fragrance.

  She glanced at the clock. Almost midday. She grabbed her purse from beside her desk. “Want to go for some lunch?” Thankfully her afternoon was free of meetings.

  Nate unwound himself from his seat, gathered his black leather jacket, and pulled it on. “That would be great.”

  They bumped into each other as they both headed for the door, and laughed.

  What was she so nervous about? She had known him for years. He’d stuck by her during the absolute worst days of her life. He had all the characteristics she wanted in the person she’d spend her life with. And now this—the kind of grand gesture most girls dreamed about a great guy making.

  Paige stepped out the door and barreled straight into a familiar chest. She bounced off, saved from a graceless tumble only by Nate standing behind her.

  “You okay?” Both men spoke at once.

  “Fine. Thanks.”

  Josh stuck his hand out. “Josh Tyler.”

  Nate shook it. “Nate Andrews.”

  “So what brings you all this way?”

  If Paige could have killed him with her laser eyes, she would have. What was he doing?

  Nate shuffled a bit, glancing at her. “Um, Paige.”

  The two guys locked gazes. For crying out loud, what was this? The OK Corral?

  Then Josh smiled. “She’s a great girl. We’ll miss her.”

  Nate slipped an arm around her waist, a little too possessively for her liking. “We miss her back home. A lot.”

  Josh captured her gaze, stormy eyes locked on her face. “She’s very missable.”

  Her breath caught, air stalled in her lungs.

  Josh shifted his gaze over. “Nice to meet you, Nate. Hope you enjoy your time here.”

  He was gone before Nate even had a chance to answer.

  She wanted to run after him, tackle him, and demand he return the piece of her heart he’d taken. She’s very missable. After weeks of nothing, three words were it all took to turn her inside out.

  Instead, she pasted on a smile and turned to the man beside her. “Right, shall we go?” Not waiting for his response, she strode through the office and down the stairs, leaving Nate to follow. The day was warm and clear as they stepped outside. “Want me to show you around a little?”

  Nate gave a slight shrug of his shoulders. “Sure.”

  She chose the path leading in the opposite direction from the route she and Josh had walked the morning of their ill-fated conversation.

  They walked for a few minutes, Paige babbling to fill the silence, naming birds, trees, wildlife, making up a few things just to have something to say.

  “You probably know why I’m here.” Nate cut across her awful tour guide spiel.

  What was she supposed to say to that? Yes sounded like she’d expected him to fly halfway around the world to put everything on the line. Playing dumb would demean them and their friendship.

  She sucked in a breath. “I think so.”

  “Are you going to tell me not to say it again?” There was a slight hitch to his voice.

  She turned, looked straight into the blue eyes of the guy who had patiently loved her for years. Who deserved the best. She shook her head. “No.”

  A glimmer of hope flickered in his gaze. He reached out, took one of her hands, and shifted on his feet. For a split second, she thought he was about to get down on one knee. No, please, no.

  He took a deep breath, then a look of horror crossed his face. He passed his other hand across his buzz cut. “I had a big speech planned. Now I can’t remember a single word.”

  This was excruciating. She wanted to put him out of his misery, but how? She didn’t even know her answer to the question she knew was coming. “It’s okay. Take your time.”

  She needed as much of it as she could get to sort through her ricocheting feelings. Could she do this? Throw her heart into giving whatever they might have a chance? It would mean going back to Chicago as soon as she was finished here, but was that a bad thing? She’d come halfway around the world for what? To fall for the one, the one, guy she couldn’t have because he came with a life that was her definition of a personal nightmare.

  Nate was familiar. Nate was safe. Nate was home. Her family loved him. Her friends loved him. He’d been there through everything after Ethan died. He’d never asked anything more of her
than she could give. What was wrong with her? Why wasn’t she telling him he didn’t need a speech and throwing herself into his arms?

  “So.” Nate took his hand back, shoving it in his pocket. “You’ve probably guessed from the airport and the flowers and everything that I’m crazy about you.”

  “They were a good hint.” She smiled, trying to cut through the nervous tension buzzing between them.

  “I know things haven’t been easy for you for a long time. What happened in New Jersey, Ethan, things with Alex, your job, all of it. And I knew the right thing was to give you space, let you work it out, however you needed to. But Paige, I fell for you the first time I met you and the last six months have been some of the most miserable of my life. Not knowing if you’d come back or not. Afraid to open my email in case I discovered I’d missed my chance and that you were dating someone new. Wondering if there was a possibility that having so much distance between us might have made you think differently about what we have.”

  There been times in the last few months when the thought had crossed her mind. Could Nate be the one? Could the whole Josh thing have just been a crazy detour to get her to where she was meant be?

  “So I’m here because I need to be put out of my misery. To know if there’s a chance you could see me as more than just your friend Nate, or if I need to go home and try and let you go. For good.” He finally lifted his head, looked her straight in the eyes. “Because this whole friends thing is killing me.”

  It was possibly the best declaration a girl could ever dream of. If life was a movie, this would be the point where she’d have a magical epiphany and throw herself into his arms, kissing him passionately while he swept her up and spun her around. Slow motion, wide frame.

  Instead her heart was being torn in two. One half wanted to give herself to the person that made the most sense. The other half was still with the one who didn’t.